Summertime

This time of year always brings back special memories for me. Growing up in Dallas, I can't help but think back to hanging out at White Rock Lake and cruising Forest Lane at night. When the Sun starts to come out and the wind gets hot, I want to throw the Frisbee and drink cold ones. I want to wear flip flops and get a sunburn no matter what the consequence. I want to head to San Marcos and guard the river rice!! LMAO! Lots of you will get that some will not,,, not important. The word San Marcos and river should be enough for most of you. Then I want to head to San Antonio and drink margs in little Mexico till I drop... After the Tequila wears down I want to drive South to Padre Island and soak up the whitest beach in Texas till my skin is as brown as the water. This is the time I find it hardest to work and the easiest to coast in to the driveway at night.. I have had a lot of good times and have a lot of good friends that will appreciate this... Frisbee golf anyone????

When life get's hard what do you do? Who do you blame?

    I have to admit that life has had it's ups and downs for me. and although  a lot of  the downs were self induced,  so were the ups. I came from a great family , well for the most part. Parents divorced several times, I was into drugs , booze ,,,you name it I had to do it. I always hear people blaming their past on upbringing and blaming the current state of their lives on the same. I just have to say that after a certain point in your life that is bullshit. Some of you who will read this know my past, wealthy family ,dad and mom loved me very much , brothers and sisters were well adjusted. But for some reason I blew apart at about 14 and but for the grace of God there go I. I have been to prison , I have had a terrible drug problem, I have hurt so many of the ones that love me. I have quit jobs, been fired , had stuff thrown at me that will always be a part of my life. I am 44 today , I have 5 children and have been married to my wife for 17 years. So why have I been able to do this but so many people seem to continue to destroy themselves over the past that haunts them? Simple, at 26 I figured out that there was only one common denominator in all of the ups and all of the downs....Me. I was to blame for it all, not my mom not my dad not my friends not where I lived. Me!! Barring mental health issues that would prevent it, people do and can change. I get up everyday wondering what I can do to put food and security in my families hands. I live in fear of being the guy with the sign under the bridge. Do I get depressed ,,,hell yes... is life just rosy ,,,hell no. But I control my reaction to these things, I control the things that used to control me. I have seen so many people die, the number is staggering. I have lost some of my closest friends to these same things...Bottom line is take responsibility for your own actions , believe in yourself and dont blame others for your failures if your not willing to give them credit for your success. Look at yourself in the mirror everyday and ask God to give you that one deal, that one smile , that one smell...just the one thing that makes you know it is all worth it...grind it out everyday and you will get it from him...get over your self and get on with it.......this is a beautiful place to be ,,,don't be in too much of a rush to leave it... RANT OVER!!!